During our lifetime, we have to deal with many things that come up as an intrusion on our existence. All people in this world tend to have peaceful and orderly lives, lives that thrive well on certain routines. We are creatures of habit and it seems that we develop and thrive the most when we get into a routine. It’s even safe to say that we depend on them. We love them.
Well, sometimes, that routine gets broken by accidents and situations that we can’t predict or do anything about. When the routine gets broken, we get stressed out and our behavior changes. When under stress, people start behaving in a destructive, even self-destructive manner because we don’t feel secure and safe anymore. By experiencing different incidents throughout our lives, we learn that things aren’t always the same.
When this happens, we feel stress. Extremely stressful events can completely break a person and devastate their lives. With that in mind, here are the five most stressful events that can ruin your lives and how to deal with such situations.
1. Death in the Family
Death of a loved one, a friend, child, parent or a spouse, is one of the worst events that can strike a person. Even though death is a natural part of the cycle of life, when someone close to you dies, it can cause significant stress and tremendous sorrow. People get so devastated that some of them almost never recover. Since there isn’t much you can do about it, when this happens, you have to deal with it.
You’ll grieve and your heart will be broken but, you must find another reason to move on, recover, and keep on living your life. Such a stressor can cause depression, as it’s completely emotionally devastating but keeping your thoughts somewhere else might just help you recover and compel you to go on.
Allow yourself to feel the loss and learn how to go through the grieving process but gather support and embrace life. By accepting the loss, you’ll find a reason to go on.
2. Divorce or Separation
Getting divorced isn’t a pretty event to go through but unfortunately, it’s also a part of life, just like the death of a loved one. You’ll be angry and think that the world isn’t fair. Well, it isn’t but that doesn’t mean that you have to give up on yourself, the rest of your family and your life.
There are always two sides to this story. When two lovers get divorced, they tend to blame the other partner for everything because they feel like a victim.
The only way to snap out of it and get a grip over your life once more is to stop playing that victim. It’s only normal to be sad about it, to feel sorry for yourself, angry, betrayed, and to grieve. You can either play the victim for the rest of your life or get over it and move on.
Once you accept that, you’ll be able to decide what’s best for you. If you have children, focus on their well-being, as it’ll help you overcome the pain.
3. Changing Your Place of Residence
Most of the time, people move for positive reasons but there are situations when it’s inevitable due to unpredicted circumstances. Whatever the case may be, moving is simply stressful. Every disruption of your routine can cause stress. Changing your place of residence affects the whole family and, usually, your children are those who suffer the most because they simply don’t understand what’s happening.
Now, to cope with moving, you’ll have to focus on the positive side of your new place. Try to establish a new routine that’ll get you back to normal as soon as possible. This will help you establish your new home much easier.
Focus on your children if you have them – give them and yourself some time to get used to the new surroundings. With time, things will slowly fall into place.
4. Hearing News about a Major Illness
Hearing news about a major illness is a bad thing that affects the entire family. Such a significant stressor can even ruin families.
Major illness not only affects the one who’s fallen ill but everyone else around them. This is one of the worst stressors that takes the emotional toll on everyone involved. The worst thing about it is that it can last for a long time, and people can become depressed.
Most become unstable because they can’t cope with the stress, becoming completely emotionally unavailable and refusing to get help. Hopelessness and helplessness are the two most common feelings people with major illnesses tend to experience.
Still, you can rebuild your life. Take positive actions and stop feeling insecure. Develop a positive mental attitude and think about your family and the loved ones. Find happiness in the little things. Be as active as you can. If it’s your time, then it’s your time, but don’t give up and don’t surrender.
5. Losing Your Job
Losing your job is mostly connected to humiliation and financial turmoil. Anxiety and depression will follow and your self-esteem will be low. You’ll constantly worry about money and feel stressed because of the whole situation. It’s not easy to lose a job, especially if it’s a job that you worked hard to get and you liked. Still, it isn’t the end of the world.
This will cause a disruption in your lifestyle and your financial status will suffer just like you will. Nothing is worse than the feeling of constant uncertainty. Prepare yourself for the process of finding a new job because both losing and finding a job is stressful enough. Take some time off to reconsider what it is that you want to do.
Focus on what was positive and negative about your previous job and then start looking for a job that will give you what you really expect. Try to find the positive sides of this situation and accept that it happened. This will help you better prepare yourself for the new job so that you can manage stress better. When you think positively, good things will come your way.